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The PsychoMatic - Self-Help Therapy Booth

Introducing PsychoMatic - the new psychological therapy booth coming to a supermarket near you!

Feeling a bit stressed with all that shopping?

Finding the kids a bit troublesome?

Want to hear something positive about yourself?

PsychoMatic is for you! You can choose your level of therapy...

Our "value" range will give you a random affirmative statement that will send you on your way with a smile on your face, feeling good about yourself. Only £1!

Our ""premium" range will analyse your difficulties (maximum speak time of 3 minutes) and give you advice specific to your problems. You can use the voucher to claim a discount on tea, coffee or other soft drinks from the cafeteria. Only £2!

Our "superior" range will use face-scanning technology to digitalise your mood and provide an incomprehensible psychoanalytical interpretation with a discount voucher for a bottle of wine to help you forget. Health Warning: Do not select this option if interpretative therapy is a problem for you. Only £5!