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Personality Mix - A Cautionary Tale about Resurfacing

A man goes to answer a knock at the door.

"Good evening, Sir, sorry to trouble you. We have been in the area carrying out some re-surfacing work and we have a bit of mix left over. Would you like some re-surfacing done?"

"No thanks, my drive does'nt need re-surfacing."

"Oh, we're not doing drives this week. We're psychotarmacing, giving customers a personality re-surfacing. Filling in the gaps, smoothing over the rough edges and getting rid of the bumps."

"I don't think my personality needs re-surfacing right now. We don't normally buy at the door. How can I be sure you won't start the job and not come back and finish it? I will be in a worse state that I'm in now. I'll be exposed, vulnerable to all sorts. No, I don't want to take up your kind offer. "

"I understand. I hear your pain. We are registered psychotarmacers, we have a website and business cards and everything. We even have a fleet of white vans, very discreet. We have testimonials too. For example, Mr Smith at number 82 had his personality re-surfaced and since then he's never been so popular. People smile at him now, no longer afraid of his old miserable ways and foul temper. In fact, he is so smooth now that even strangers think it is safe to come and park their carps on him! Ha, ha - an industry joke."

"That's all well and good, but I'm not in the mood for re-surfacing."

"It sounds like you would benefit from our mood replacement service. We will replace all your moods with uPVC double-glazed moods. They are maintenance-free and offer excellent insulation from the ills of the world. I could arrange for one of our representatives to call round...."

The door closes.